Coffee at Work: What Your Coffee Order Says About You & Your Coworkers

Forget zodiac signs.

The current way to characterize someone is by their coffee order. Coffee order? That’s right. The ways people customize and prefer coffee and other hot beverages can say a lot about personality and character. Trust us; we’re coffee experts. Not sure we know what we’re talking about? Take a look at our list and see where you and your coworkers stack up.

The Comfort, Ritual, and Necessity of Coffee

Coffee is big business – the world’s second-biggest commodity to be exact – and it’s increasingly hard to find a group of people who don’t consume the global beverage in some form or another. A whopping 64 percent of Americans 18+ said they’ve consumed a cup of coffee the previous day. While it seems coffee is what unites us, it's also what sets us apart and in a light, playful way identifies who we are. Take a look around your office, building, production floor, campus, or coffeeshop. What are the people around you drinking? 

What Your Coffee Order Says About You

Black

A strong, no-nonsense coffee order for strong, no-nonsense people. You might find some preference with this group of coffee drinkers when it comes to beans or brands, but the majority of black coffee drinkers are looking for what’s hot, available, and easy. There is some comfort and zero fuss with this crowd. You are cowboys and midnight riders and committed to the dark side. We salute you and are often afraid to upset you, speak to you before your first cup, or beat you to the last pastry in the break room.

Latte

If you like lattes, you know a little about life’s finer things. You appreciate balance. You temper strength with sweetness; swirling around in your frothy warmth is a shot or two of dark fortification. You’re not too fancy but yet nod approvingly when you get that subtle hazelnut flavor in your occasional flavored latte. You’d never dream of ordering straight black coffee; you want a little work to go into your daily coffee but aren’t fussy enough to stray from your humble latte. Reusable cup from home? No sir, no thank you. You secretly love that your coworkers know you have a brand affinity – albeit an unfussy one. 

The Seasonal Pumpkin Spice-Gingerbread-Spring Thaw-S’mores Limited Time Only Drink

You love Pinterest and you own a letterboard you change weekly. You’re fun, you embrace seasonality for all it’s worth, and buy into the retail hysteria of coffee. You consider the every day is a faux holiday trend very important to today’s culture. You once accidentally had a sip of the office brewed black coffee and deemed it bitter swill for sad people. We love your hashtags and Instagram game. Yes, you know the whip is extra … you are too!

Keurig Connoisseur

You may favor practicality but that doesn’t mean you don’t love a morning quickly scanning the flavor options of K-cups at your disposal. Feeling light and nostalgic? Folgers in your (K) cup. Envious of your cube mate’s triple-whipped-frothy-spiced-whatever from the drive-thru? Satisfy your palate with a limited edition holiday flavor like Cinnamon Sugar Cookie from Green Mountain. Need to wake up for that client presentation? You too can enjoy espresso with a click of a button – viola! Caribou Coffee’s Caramel Espresso Roast Coffee ready in seconds.

Your moods can be tracked to your daily K-cup preference and yes, we know when you’re avoiding sugar; that Donut Shop Coffee on repeat gives it away. We’d hug you – but we’re sort of afraid of you currently.

Origin-Based, Small Batch, Hyper-Local Artisan Drinker

Your trunk is full of reusable shopping bags and you carry your own flat wear to avoid takeout silverware. Compost? You bet. Your sweater, jewelry, and leather bag all have fabulous origin stories and support small business. You don’t bat an eye at the price of a single cup of brewed coffee. You know what breve, demitasse, pour over, and nitro cold brew means. You can articulate the difference in coffee regions like Costa Rica, Peru, and Ethiopia. You’re opinionated yet no one at work usually asks you to weigh in on anything of real value. Your water bottle, laptop, and bike rack are covered in colorful stickers, emblems, and decals.

Decaf

You’re either abstaining from caffeine for dietary or socio-emotional experimental reasons or you’re one of the few people who actually enjoy the taste of coffee sans the jittery jolt. You often joke you’re exciting enough or your personality doesn’t need the effects of caffeine – a joke by now told so often it’s not funny but it doesn’t prevent you from retelling it. In groups, you cover your cup when it’s time for refills asking, “Is this decaf? Only decaf!” and wonder if this is where your general sense of distrust stems from.

Iced Coffee

Do you even cold brew, bro? Do you ever. And, you’re not alone – iced coffee beverages are America’s current darlings and you’re not ashamed to be on that side of a trend. Plenty of sources call cold brew coffee the next evolution in the world of coffee… so you might be into global issues (or let’s be honest, just trends). The biggest question we have for iced aficionados is: do you have a season? Or are you all iced, all 365 days a year? Once, we read a headline that said only monsters and people you should think twice about trusting drink iced coffee in the winter.

Consider us monsters then! If you opt for straight iced coffee or cold brew, you could be into health or cost savings or both. 66 percent of you are millennials and 34 percent of you are gen X’ers and 100 percent of you are either on Team Straw or Team No Straw. #savetheturtles

Coffee Customization & Current Trends

Do you remember the world before cold press? Or even iced coffees in general? That says a lot about consumer preference and trends and how beverage categories change and innovate to drive engagement and brand loyalty. It ain’t easy being green – imagine the innovation and R&D teams behind Starbucks and the task the brand has to continually appeal to the masses including changing generations.

No matter how you take your coffee, we take it very seriously. This blog post was intended to be lighthearted, humorous, and relatable. Coffee is the world's one great unifier and recognized for not only its value as a household staple but it's customization to appeal to every single person on the planet.

Yes, even you decaf drinkers.